…a ReMiNiScEnT tImE

I just couldn’t help but think of those days I happily celebrated this day with my family, relatives, neighbors and circle of friends. I feel I am homesick now. I just find this so peculiar this time. Couldn’t explain what I feel. Mixed emotions surround me now. So strange! Well, maybe because it’s a special time, yet away from them, and I feel so lonely, and first time to encounter this situation.

I have several impressions in mind now. I keep thinking of, “If only I were with my family, if only I were home, if only were not away, if only I were with my friends, if only they were here, if only we were together, if only… if only… if only…, I wouldn’t have felt this way, I wouldn’t have been lonely, I wouldn’t have been sad, I wouldn’t have felt homesick, I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t…"

Somewhat I hate everything. I do love music, yet I don’t want to listen to it. It would just somehow add my loneliness, especially listening to songs we usually sang together before. I would just remember those times the more, and add this odd feeling of mine. I don’t know what to do. I can’t understand. I just badly miss them, I guess. That’s why I don’t want to remember special occasions, ‘coz it would just make me feel lonely, instead of being happy. Well, thanks to technology that it’s just easy to communicate with them. But sadness still rules my world at this time. Yeah, I can do it. It would just be over in due time. I only have to be strong. Thanks a lot guys!