…QQ aCcOuNt

Eversince I set foot here in China, teaching, my students have been asking me whether I have an account in QQ, a Chinese site for chatting and so on like MSN, Yahoo Messenger, etc. It’s a big surprise that even primary students have it. I didn’t expect them to have one. As I asked them why, they just plainly reply, it’s part of the fads here in China. I sadly said, I absolutely don’t have one because naturally, I don’t know how to read and write Chinese. So they were a bit disappointed.

I was just surprised one afternoon (Saturday – April 5), three of my students from my junior high class followed me to the office and even to my computer table during the break, then asked me if I want to have a QQ number. I don’t understand that and don’t know what to do with that, I said. They gladly replied that they’re going to open it for me. I told them I can’t read and write their language but they responded they’re going to change it to English. Yes, they did! We successfully made it. I got one. This is my QQ number, 895296809. They gladly shared my number to their classmates and they were very happy. They even wrote it to the board. At long last, they said, you have an account now.

Thanks for the concern and sensitivity of my students. They really want to chat with me. Well, now that I have my account, I guess I would be very busy chatting with these people. But I would be glad to. Hope to chat and see you in QQ soon. Enjoy your day.

…sLeEpLeSs NiGhT

Can we control our emotions, our feelings? Can we choose what to feel, how to feel and when to feel? I am just quite emotional. I am sensitive and easily got hurt. I am so fragile that you have to take care of, if you truly care.

Last night after my class, 8:40 pm, I immediately went to my apartment for I was exhausted from the day’s work. I phoned my family back home to greet our youngest brother, Happy Birthday. After that, I felt strange. I couldn’t sleep. I had mixed feelings. My mom cried while we were talking, saying they miss me a lot, and asking me when will I come home. That led me to shed tears, too. It’s very hard if you are away from your loved ones especially on special occasions. I was just sad because I wasn’t there, wasn’t able to celebrate with them. I even wished I could fly that time. This is maybe because I am just so family-oriented. I guess every Filipino is, due to our culture – close family ties. We are so attached to our families.

I really found it hard to sleep last night. I live alone in my flat and have noone to talk to. I was shy to call my Chinese friends here, thinking I might disturb them. It’s already a little late at night, 10:35 pm. I also didn’t want to bother my foreign friends in other cities, they might be tired like me, and probably be sleeping that time. This situation worsen my feelings. I just got up and increase the volume of my music, for I always sleep with music turned on. I arrange my things and folded my clothes decently. I was just worried ‘coz I was thinking of my ten (10) classes the day after, I have to get up early.

Do you know what I did? I forced myself to sleep. I had no choice or else, I would be sleepy in my classes and wouldn’t be able to execute them well. I, of course, don’t want that to happen. I always want to be active, enthusiastic and energetic in front of my dear students. I don’t want them to see me that way. I do believe, "teachers are the models of the students." So, I am always acting like one. Fortunately, I was able to sleep 30 minutes after midnight.