…LoNeLiNeSs

The song, Shape of my Heart by Backstreet Boys says, loneliness is tragical. Is it? Why? How? Is it that serious? But is it normal to be lonely sometimes? Are you lonely? How do you fight loneliness? What do you do to overcome it?

Many of my Chinese friends here, they can’t stand my situation. They kept asking me whether I’m lonely or not. Even my students did. They said I’m alone, the only Filipino in the city, though there are around nine foreigners, but we don’t have chance to meet because they’re working on weekdays, I am not. I am working on weekends, they’re not. Only recently that I met them through an English corner established by the English lovers here. I said I usually go to Hefei, the capital of the province once in a while to meet my Filipino friends and some other foreigners. I added, as long as there’s internet, there’s no problem especially there’s music. I wouldn’t feel lonely. I am also praying all the time to overcome it. And I proudly said to them I did. With this situation for more than six months, I have lived a normal life. I just watch TV, movies, listen to music, surf the internet to amuse myself, I told them. They were not so convinced because if they were in my shoes, they said, they wouldn’t be able to make it.

Frankly speaking, I also feel lonely. I am lonely most often. But I don’t show it. I have no choice. I have to tell myself I am not lonely ,or else, I won’t be able to stay this long here. I have to be very strong to fight this loneliness, this boredom, so as to live a normal life. And here I am, still kicking. I have fought a good fight against it. I am no longer new to this situation.

Well friends, though we, as gregarious beings, need to be with others, but there are times that we have to stand on our own feet. There are moments that we're alone. Are you ready for that? Are you prepared by that time? If it happens, what would you do to amuse yourself?

…BoTtOmS uP

In the middle of the day, enjoying my off, I received a call. A Chinese teacher, telling me that the parents of my student invited us, all teachers to a dinner. She asked me if I would be available in the evening and told me it’s okay if I would not come. I responded that there’s no problem. She added that she’s going to meet me at the school at 5:00 pm. But later in that afternoon, she texted me that parents moved the time for they are working, so she’s going to pick me up at 5:30. I was sleeping when I received the message, though.

The time came and we went to the restaurant together. It’s just five minutes walk from our school. We arrived there earlier and we proceeded to the reserved section. I still have time to take photos around. We had a great chat before they arrived. A little while later, our student arrived and we asked her where her parents were. She replied they're at the parking lot. Then they came and started ordering. Both of her parents can’t speak English, as expected, good that my colleagues were there to translate for me.

Food was served a short while afterwards. Cheers and bottoms up, the father invited me as he gave me a glass full of beer. I had no choice. It’s a Chinese practice to drink first before eating and we’re not used to that. We usually drink in the mid of eating or even after. I felt something strange inside. I knew it’s because of the beer. Then we started savoring the mouth-watering food, absolutely delicious. I was actually sweating due to the beer and ate no rice yet. My colleagues asked me if I was alright, I just pointed my stomach and they understood what I meant and I asked for rice.

Cheers and bottoms up came every now and then. My colleagues explained to my student’s father that I am still young and not used to drinking. He was expecting that foreigners are good at drinking because of what he has experienced with a German guy. What a pity for me!

I was stuffed. I ate a lot to somehow reduce the effect of the beer. Everybody also was. The food really is very tasty. As a whole, Chinese food is so luscious. My head is falling, I felt. I still have one glass left. The father wanted me to finish it before we would go. I slowly consume it and ate some more. At long last, I made it. Then we left. I really was 85% drunk. If we stayed longer and ordered more beer, I might not be able to go home alone. I was just fortunate that he understood. And I was very happy because they were truly friendly. Thank you for the bang-up dinner.

…mOrNiNg ExErCiSeS

Exercises are important to our bodies. Do you agree? Do we really need to exercise? Why? If so, do you do exercises regularly? What kind of exercise do you often do? How often do you do it? Do you go to a fitness gym? How often? What time do you often do your exercises? Have you seen an effect on your frequent exercise? Are these good only for adult people, especially fat people? Who should do exercises?

Scientifically speaking, exercise is a process whereby the body performs work of a demanding nature, in accordance with muscle and joint function, in a clinically controlled environment, with the constraints of safety, meaningfully loading the muscular structures to inroad their strength levels to stimulate a growth mechanism within a minimum time.

Lately, I discovered that my weight increased dramatically. I was shocked as I checked it. I could hardly believe. I also easily get tired as I observed. It’s somewhat a sign that I indeed get fatter and fatter. I don’t want it to happen. Actually, I stopped doing some exercises during winter season ‘coz it’s bloody cold outside. I guess it’s the reason why I gained weight sharply. Since it’s not that cold now, I’m starting to do some exercises early every morning. I jog for around five to seven rounds in an oval near my flat, a sports complex. Then walk around it for two rounds to come down. Afterwards, I do around 30 to 50 set ups, around 20 push ups and weight lifting. I’m hoping I would deliberately lessen my weight, for I don’t want to be fat, ‘coz it’s in our race. We are a family of fat people.

Now, I’m getting healthier as I monitor myself. I feel so light everyday, energetic and happier. I guess these are the products of my exercises. I don’t get tired easily now. I felt like I look younger these days, fitter and fresher than ever. Many even are saying I’m blooming. Am I? They even added whether I’m in love. I always am.

Friends, exercises are significant to our lives. I just hope you are doing some. We need them even if we feel we are strong, young and slim. We still have to do some exercises to maintain them. Learn from me and stay healthy. That’s how life should be, to enjoy it fully.

…LoVe

Loves makes the world go round and it moves in mysterious ways, according to songs. Does it? What’s your idea? What is love for you? Does it make sense to you these days? How to love? What to love? Who to love? When to love? These are just few of the queries about love.

People also have different views about it. Some call it true love. Others say puppy love. Still others tell crazy love. And many call it stupid love. Which kind of love are you having now? Are you sure about that? Think it over!

Books, movies, magazines, pamphlets, journals, songs, etc. also have their versatile definitions about love which somehow make people confused about its real meaning. Are you one of them? Are you confused about what really love is? Or do you also have your own explanations?

According to an author, Max Ehrmann, in his very famous prose poem entitled, Desiderata, “Do not be cynical about love for it is as perennial as the grass.” That’s why a lot of people became victims of love because they were so cynical about it, for true love is everlasting. It’s not like a toy that if you’re bored playing with it, you just throw it away. But love isn’t like that. It’s as perennial as the grass. Though somehow, it looks like it dies on winter season, but it’s not. It just peels off its leaves and blooms again like flowers on spring.

The Holy Bible says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). And the ten (10) Commandments even are summarized into two (2), “Love God above all things and love your neighbors as you love yourself.” If only love reigns in our hearts, in our world today, there would have been no chaos, disputes and war, such a peaceful world.

Well friends, let it dominate in our hearts, our lives and everything will just go smoothly. Let’s strive to make it happen and make our world much peaceful, marvellous and harmonious to be lived in. Are you one of us?

…PoLiCe OfFiCers

Pretty happy for it’s Monday and we’re off from work. I got up still early to do my exercise routine. I cooked breakfast after and went back to sleep again. I woke up at 10:30 am. I started cleaning.

In the mid of doing it, my attention was captivated upon hearing a music, sounds like a tone of a cellphone, only to find out, it was mine. Amazing! One of our Chinese teachers’s name appeared. I was surprised for I am not used to receive a call from any of them on my off. I answered and found out that there are five (5) police officers waiting for me at the office, she was told through a phone call from our headmaster. I wondered why he didn’t immediately call me. Confusion dominate my mind as I prepared myself as if I was going to work. I was kinda scared why they were there.

This confusion wasn’t resolved until I met them. As I reached the headmaster’s office, I greeted them happily with a big smile, shaking hands to each, saying I was glad seeing them. Then, conversation started. They asked me about my security here in the city, whether I encounter some problems and so on, all about my life and my protection around the city. They said that it’s their duty to protect me for I am a foreigner, and that they are glad I am here imparting my knowledge especially about English. They added that they will be checking me from time to time. They also proposed that I should visit one day their office once in a while, talking to them and sharing my experiences here especially my difficulties and troubles, like security, visa and so on. They said they might be able to help. I was really exhilarated knowing all these things, I am highly protected. How wonderful!

My confusion, nervousness and fear vanished after our great talk. Everything turned out into laughters. I went to our office after and checked my mails. Then, I went home for lunch. Remember this, overcome your fears by trying to solve them out. Be brave! Be courageous to face them!

…QQ aCcOuNt

Eversince I set foot here in China, teaching, my students have been asking me whether I have an account in QQ, a Chinese site for chatting and so on like MSN, Yahoo Messenger, etc. It’s a big surprise that even primary students have it. I didn’t expect them to have one. As I asked them why, they just plainly reply, it’s part of the fads here in China. I sadly said, I absolutely don’t have one because naturally, I don’t know how to read and write Chinese. So they were a bit disappointed.

I was just surprised one afternoon (Saturday – April 5), three of my students from my junior high class followed me to the office and even to my computer table during the break, then asked me if I want to have a QQ number. I don’t understand that and don’t know what to do with that, I said. They gladly replied that they’re going to open it for me. I told them I can’t read and write their language but they responded they’re going to change it to English. Yes, they did! We successfully made it. I got one. This is my QQ number, 895296809. They gladly shared my number to their classmates and they were very happy. They even wrote it to the board. At long last, they said, you have an account now.

Thanks for the concern and sensitivity of my students. They really want to chat with me. Well, now that I have my account, I guess I would be very busy chatting with these people. But I would be glad to. Hope to chat and see you in QQ soon. Enjoy your day.

…sLeEpLeSs NiGhT

Can we control our emotions, our feelings? Can we choose what to feel, how to feel and when to feel? I am just quite emotional. I am sensitive and easily got hurt. I am so fragile that you have to take care of, if you truly care.

Last night after my class, 8:40 pm, I immediately went to my apartment for I was exhausted from the day’s work. I phoned my family back home to greet our youngest brother, Happy Birthday. After that, I felt strange. I couldn’t sleep. I had mixed feelings. My mom cried while we were talking, saying they miss me a lot, and asking me when will I come home. That led me to shed tears, too. It’s very hard if you are away from your loved ones especially on special occasions. I was just sad because I wasn’t there, wasn’t able to celebrate with them. I even wished I could fly that time. This is maybe because I am just so family-oriented. I guess every Filipino is, due to our culture – close family ties. We are so attached to our families.

I really found it hard to sleep last night. I live alone in my flat and have noone to talk to. I was shy to call my Chinese friends here, thinking I might disturb them. It’s already a little late at night, 10:35 pm. I also didn’t want to bother my foreign friends in other cities, they might be tired like me, and probably be sleeping that time. This situation worsen my feelings. I just got up and increase the volume of my music, for I always sleep with music turned on. I arrange my things and folded my clothes decently. I was just worried ‘coz I was thinking of my ten (10) classes the day after, I have to get up early.

Do you know what I did? I forced myself to sleep. I had no choice or else, I would be sleepy in my classes and wouldn’t be able to execute them well. I, of course, don’t want that to happen. I always want to be active, enthusiastic and energetic in front of my dear students. I don’t want them to see me that way. I do believe, "teachers are the models of the students." So, I am always acting like one. Fortunately, I was able to sleep 30 minutes after midnight.